Building More: Toleration Got You Here

Words: Corey Adams

It’s one of those basic principles that’s so obvious it gets ignored. Kind of like “gravity works” or “concrete doesn’t care about your schedule.” Here it is, plain: you get more of what you incentivize or tolerate. That’s not a leadership slogan. That’s a law. And like every law, it doesn’t care if you agree with it.

Business owners love to ask the same question in different outfits. “Why do my guys keep showing up late?” “Why does this client keep changing their mind after we mobilize?” “Why do architects keep issuing details that don’t match the field conditions?” “Why does my PM keep letting the schedule slip?” It’s always framed like a mystery, as if the universe woke up and chose chaos.

Most of the time, it’s not a mystery. It’s math.

If someone can do the wrong thing and still get paid, still keep the job, still get your attention, still get rescued, or still get invited back… they will do it again. Not because they’re evil. Because they learned that’s how the game is played. People repeat what works for them. If you tolerate it, you’re teaching it. If you reward it, you’re multiplying it.

Let’s start with employees, because that’s where owners feel it daily. You can preach “be on time” until you’re blue in the face. If the same person strolls in 10 minutes late three days a week and nothing happens, no conversation, no consequence, no loss of privilege, you didn’t just allow it; you endorsed it. Meanwhile, the guy who shows up 15 minutes early every day watches that and thinks, “So being responsible doesn’t matter here?” That’s how you accidentally punish your best people. You don’t have to yell at them. You just have to let the wrong behavior slide.

And owners don’t only tolerate lateness. They tolerate sloppy communication, half-finished punch work, poor housekeeping, “I didn’t know” excuses, and the classic construction sin: hiding mistakes until they become expensive. Then they’re shocked when a job turns into a fog bank of confusion and rework. If the standard isn’t enforced, it isn’t a standard. It’s a suggestion.

Now let’s talk about the other side of the table. Clients, architects, general contractors, and anyone who touches your schedule and your profit. If a client can request changes after approval and you scramble to accommodate without pricing it, they will request changes again. If a GC can deny valid change orders and you still run full speed because you’re afraid of losing the relationship, they will deny more change orders. If an architect can issue vague details and you do all the design coordination for free, guess what you just became? Their unpaid safety net. They’ll keep tossing you the same vague drawings because you keep catching them.

This is where owners get uncomfortable, because it’s easier to point outward than inward. “The client is difficult.” “The architect is impossible.” “This GC is brutal.” Okay. But why are they brutal with you? Do they treat every trade that way? Or have they learned you’ll eat it?

There’s a reason the phrase “teach people how to treat you” has stuck around. It’s true in marriage, it’s true in parenting, and it’s true in construction. Boundaries aren’t rude. Boundaries are clarity. Clarity is respect.

The incentive side is the quieter twin of tolerance. Owners sometimes think incentives have to be cash, but incentives come in many forms: attention, trust, schedule preference, flexibility, promotions, job assignments, and even who gets listened to in meetings. If you give the most attention to the guy who complains the loudest, you’ll get more complaints, and worse, more complainers. If you rescue the foreman who never plans ahead by rushing material and rearranging crews, you’ll grow more unplanned work. If you promote the person who “looks busy” instead of the person who consistently moves the needle, you’ll grow a company of performers instead of producers.

Watch what you celebrate. Watch what you ignore. That’s your culture, whether you intended to build it or not.

A common trap is tolerating bad behavior because “we’re short-handed.” Owners say, “I can’t lose him right now.” I get the fear, but tolerating a problem employee because you need a body is like leaving a leak because you don’t have time to shut off the water. It doesn’t stay a leak. It becomes rotten, and it spreads. The good people either lower their standards or leave. Then you’re more short-handed than you were before, and you’re wondering why the company feels heavier to run.

Another trap is incentivizing the wrong outcomes. If you pay bonuses based only on speed, you’ll get speed at the expense of quality. If you reward volume without tracking margin, you’ll get busy and broke. People don’t ignore what you say; they prioritize what you pay for. If the scoreboard only counts one thing, they will optimize that one thing even if it hurts the whole job.

So how do you fix it without turning into a dictator? Start by getting honest about what you’re currently incentivizing and tolerating. Not what you want to be doing, what you are doing!

If you tolerate excuses, you’ll get excuses. If you tolerate silence, you’ll get silence. If you tolerate finger-pointing, you’ll get a company full of detectives and no firefighters. If you incentivize solutions, you’ll get more solutions. If you incentivize preparation, you’ll get fewer emergencies. If you incentivize ownership, you’ll get people who treat the company like it’s theirs.

This is why simple standards matter. Clear job descriptions. Defined KPIs. Visible scoreboards. Routine feedback. Consequences that are consistent, not emotional. Rewards that are tied to the right behaviors, not just the loudest personalities. None of that is complicated. But it does require leadership to do the uncomfortable thing: enforce the standard even when it would be easier to let it slide “just this once.” Because “just this once” is how you train everyone.

And don’t miss this: Tolerance isn’t always about discipline. Sometimes it’s about allowing the wrong client to stay. The wrong architect to keep drawing. The wrong GC is keeping squeezing. The wrong employee is to keep coasting. You can’t build a high-standard business while you’re constantly bending to low-standard relationships.

If you want a different result, change what you accept and change what you reward. Stop throwing incentives at outcomes you don’t actually want. Stop tolerating behaviors you claim you can’t stand. That’s not leadership. That’s wishful thinking with a payroll attached.

So the next time you catch yourself saying, “Why do they keep doing this?” pause and ask the only question that matters: What have I been incentivizing or tolerating that makes this the logical behavior? The answer will sting, but it will also point you to the fix.

Because you don’t get what you hope for. You get what you tolerate.

Building More: Toleration Got You Here

About: Building More

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